


the garfield blanket

by meowrails



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Canon Autistic Character, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Mutual Pining, Nonbinary Character, Oral Sex, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Praise Kink, Riding, Semi-Public Sex, Trans Gordon Freeman, Trans Male Character, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, top!Tommy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:33:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26004988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowrails/pseuds/meowrails
Summary: Gordon isn't sure if he's developing some sort of Pavlovian reaction to the Garfield blanket or the stupid blacksmith show they always watch together. It could also be the way Tommy treats him so gently.Gordon feels his face go flush. No, it's definitely the blanket.
Relationships: Tommy Coolatta/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 38
Kudos: 317





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is mostly a porn fic, so don't really pay much attention to the small worldbuilding ive done so it makes enough sense. i just wanted to imagine them as roommates bc it would be neat.
> 
> things to note:  
> \- my tommy is autistic. i have adhd, not autism, so please let me know if you aren't comfortable with the way i write him. i will not accept any criticism about him having sex. he's a grown adult.  
> \- benrey is nb (they/them)  
> \- gordon does not get along with benrey due to his ptsd -- sorry, they won't be very close in this fic  
> \- gordon is a trans man, ill be using masc and some fem terms (pussy/cunt) for his genitals but the latter won't be often  
> \- i fucking forgot sunkist exists when i was writing this im so sorry. he's in the house somewhere dw, he'll probably appear at a later chapter
> 
> comments and kudos are appreciated <3

It's been a month. Gordon Freeman still isn't sure if he's processed everything that happened since they all escaped Black Mesa.

Turns out that the only way Tommy's father could take them to a functioning, intact Chuck-E-Cheese was by pulling them to a completely different reality. One without the effects of the resonance cascade. Their new life is... normal. Very normal. So much that Gordon keeps forgetting they're all being paid a monthly allowance by some sort of all knowing God just to keep his son happy.

Black Mesa isn't a thing in this world either. Well, not that Gordon knows. Nor has he bothered to find out. Gordon isn't even sure if he  _ exists _ in this world, considering that he needs proof of his PhD in order to apply to a job in his field. Maybe he'll settle for a high school teaching position. He feels like he has enough experience and 'patience' dealing with his roommates.

But he really doesn't have to worry about that right now.

None of them have had this much free time in years. Black Mesa was such a huge part of their lives and now it's completely gone. It's almost a relief if they all weren't workaholics. 

Everyone took up new hobbies. Bubby is taking care of rats. At least six of them, and Gordon would find it charming if they haven't escaped at least a dozen times. Doctor Coomer is crocheting between his group therapy sessions. Benrey is trying out twitch streaming -- some sort of new streaming website that seems to be the rage in this reality. He's almost more insufferable than he was as an eldritch being. They're currently planning a cereal tier list ranking video, which means that there's about twenty-eight cereal boxes scattered around the kitchen at any given moment. Gordon gets nauseous at the thought of having to eat another bowl of Chex anytime soon.

He also isn't quite ready to be around them for too long. Tommy is the only roommate that makes him feel... safe.

His break time goal is finally committing to learning Spanish. It's embarrassing that he's lived in New Mexico for so long and he only knows enough to remember his restaurant order. 

Beside him, he hears Tommy whisper the words  _ oh, darn _ as the man loses the latest stage. Tommy knows... everything, but he hasn't really experienced a lot of the things in his Wikipedia articles. It's intact in this world, much to Tommy's relief. 

Tommy, finally away from self-imposed OSHA obligations and Black Mesa experiments, has decided to spend his current free time doing something he's always wanted to do. 

Completing all the Sonic the Hedgehog games.

He's on  _ Sonic and the Black Knight _ . Poor guy. 

Gordon has been on the same presentation slide for the past twenty minutes. He tries to tell himself that he isn't distracted by the view of the taller man in a t-shirt. By the way Tommy's tongue pokes out as he concentrates. He tries to ignore the way Tommy stretches his arms and wrist behind his back, his shirt moving and revealing the slightest sliver of skin.

Gordon has thought Tommy was attractive and charming since their meeting. He felt especially protective over the guy during the Black Mesa incident. He didn't have time to consider  _ why  _ he felt so protective over Tommy. Not that the guy couldn't handle himself... sort of, but Gordon didn't think it would be his weak gay lizard brain doing this to him.

His eyes flick back to the screen, pretending he wasn't staring.

Being stuck at close proximity in a pretty nice apartment doesn't help. It's not that Gordon doesn't ever leave -- he jogs in the morning, but that's about it. He also does the grocery shopping, because there's no fucking way he's going to trust anyone else with picking food that's actually edible, healthy, all while remembering everyone's no-no textures.

But when he's home, he's usually with Tommy.

"Another level with S rank, Gordon Freeman! I'm now thirty-three percent through this game."

"Nice, Tommy." Gordon says, genuinely.

"I have some thoughts on it as well."

Gordon sits up beside the older man.

"...This game isn't actually very fun." Tommy sighs, and looks through his carefully organized CD folder for the rest of his games and cartridges.

"You gonna give it up, then?"

"Hm? Oh,  _ no no no _ . I-I-I already promised myself I would finish them all. This one just..." 

"Sucks?"

"It's absolutely terrible, Gordon."

Gordon laughs and Tommy follows. It's moments like these that make him forget they live with three other people who could walk in on them at any moment.

Not... that they're doing anything right  _ now _ .

Gordon feels the tip of his ears heat up. He's being an idiot.

"I would say you're probably just tired but that dragon level really looked like hell."

"It should have been its own la-layer in Dante's Inferno." Tommy says, fiddling with a worm on a string he has attached to his belt.

Gordon laughs. He closes his laptop and accepts the fact he isn't going to learn how to use  _ era, eres, es, son  _ in a sentence today. "Maybe taking your mind off the game will help. We could watch something. A movie? Some TV show?"

Tommy clicks the button on the remote and thinks. "Maybe, um- Something with no thinking, maybe. My brain needs a spa break."

Gordon thinks of the  _ smooth brain _ meme Benrey keeps referencing. "Your pick, my man."

Tommy immediately goes to the reality show section on Hulu. He perks up, "Any interest in Forged in Fire, the blacksmith and weapon making competition show from the History channel?"

Gordon doesn't have the heart to tell Tommy that he's already seen every single Forged in Fire episode. He grins, it's still time he gets to spend with Tommy. "Sure."

Tommy presses play on the first episode of season one, rubbing his hands up and down his thigh to feel the soft fabric of his sweatpants. Gordon doesn't have to pay much attention. His eyes alternate between the television on Tommy's hands. Bigger and more slender than his own.

He closes his eyes and presses the bridge of his nose. He really needs to get his horny brain under control.

"Everything alright, G-Gordon?" Tommy asks. Gordon didn't notice that Tommy was looking at him.

"I'm fine. Just... uhh-" He blinks. "Cold."

_ Cold? _

"We can share the Garfield blanket if you'd like!" The Garfield blanket is what they've named the huge, thick, oddly expensive Garfield memorabilia blanket that Benrey thought would be funny to buy. It is probably the most comfortable blanket Gordon has ever used. It might be weighted, but that might also be the sheer size of it. Tommy takes it and covers both of their bodies with the soft blanket. Gordon immediately relaxes. He didn't realize his shoulders were tense until he melted back into the seat.

Tommy sits closer to him, sitting up and looking down at Gordon. "Is that better?"

Gordon nods slightly. "Uh... Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, Tommy."

Tommy reaches for him. Gordon almost flinches if he wasn't completely frozen in some sort of shock as he feels Tommy's hand take a long strand of hair away from his face.

"Now you can see better."

Gordon blinks again. "Y-Yeah. Uh. Thanks." The tip of his ears grow hot again.

What the hell was that?

Gordon tries to focus on the show and whatever Tommy's saying, but the moment continues to replay in his head. Maybe Tommy doesn't understand certain social queues? He isn't a touchy guy, but it doesn't feel out of character for him to touch Gordon so gently like this either. Gordon has counted each time Tommy rests a comforting hand on his shoulder, a squeeze to his bicep. Tommy doesn't do that to anyone else in the apartment.

He's probably just comfortable around Gordon, that's all.

"-while brass chakram, due to their better airfoil design, could be thrown in excess of 100 m (330 ft). If properly constructed, it should be a perf-" Tommy stops his quiet, perfectly memorized Wikipedia monologue to tap Gordon on the shoulder. Gordon looks at the way Tommy's face grows calculating, eyes darting over each part of Gordon's face before he speaks again. "You seem... You seem distracted."

Gordon nods slowly. "Yeah. Kind of."

"Should I pause the episode and save it for another time?" Tommy says slowly, looking a little disappointed.

Gordon sits up a bit. "N-No! No. If you wanna watch it, go ahead. Sorry, just thinking about... stuff."

Tommy stops to think again before he replies. "Actually, I wanted to watch this show with you. I thought it could- could be our... thing." He clears his throat. "A-And I can't show this to Bubby or Doctor Coomer or else they will get ideas for inventions or Benrey because he will get ideas for more inadvisable videos. So. Just the two of us can watch it."

Gordon has no idea how to react to the tall, older man looking down at him. When he describes Tommy that way it makes him sound a lot more menacing -- gets it from his father, probably -- but Gordon is... painfully gay. The way he's being stared at makes him feel like he's the subject Tommy wants to study.

Stupid. He's being stupid. He's not insecure or anything. He knows he's an attractive, well built guy. He just has no idea what Tommy is  _ into _ . He can't be straight, considering no one in this house is. They would have noticed by now.

"G-Gordon?" Tommy asks, voice nervous.

"I.. I watched most of the episodes already." Gordon admits for some reason he can't process.

Tommy blinks and laughs. "I know who wins each episode because I memo- um, memorized the article on the show. It'll be okay. Just something to have in the background while we hang out and do something else."

"Like what?"

This time, Tommy's cheeks get pink. Gordon notices even if the man tries to hide it by looking away.

"Whatever you'd, um, like."

Gordon feels Tommy's hand settle on his shoulder, squeezing. His touch creeps at the edge of his t-shirt, fingertips grazing the soft skin of his neck. 

"Is this okay?" Tommy whispers.

"Yeah. Y-Yeah. Very okay."

Gordon swears he feels Tommy's other hand rest on his thigh, hidden to the world by the thick layer of fabric over them.

Obviously, Benrey has to come back from shopping right as Tommy leaned in close.

They jump and move away from each other, both unsubtly sitting at either side of the sofa, as far away from each other as they can.

"What up, sluts?" Benrey chuckles. "Sorry- What you up to guys?"

Gordon flinches at his voice  _ and  _ at the somehow accurate description of how he's feeling right now.

"We- We're watching a reality tv show!" Tommy announces cheerfully, as if he didn't have a hand inches away from Gordon's crotch just a few seconds ago.

"Are they making swords and shit? That's cool. Maybe I should be a blacksmith. Sell all my dumb swords to nerds that can't use a katana." Benrey rambles as they munch on some Taco Bell. They just... stand behind the sofa, watching the show that neither of them are paying attention to anymore. 

Gordon glances at Tommy, trying to see if he can tell if Tommy is also trying to do the same. Tommy seems transfixed to the screen. He threw the blanket off him and carefully crossed his legs, Gordon can't tell if he's hard or not. All he sees is a flush on Tommy's cheeks. Fiddling hands playing with the soft fabric of his stim toy. Sharp cheekbones, tired eyes, the barest bit of graying hair on the sides of his temple.

Gordon's thoughts are interrupted every time he hears Benrey chew or comment on the episode. His heart races in a panic, both at the thought of what just happened and the current proximity of Benrey to him. On good days, he can deal with the guy just fine. Humor him, even. Today is far too confusing and stressful for him to have the patience to deal with the people who tried to kill him.

"I... I gotta go to my room. This was, um, fun, Tommy."

Tommy looks at him and raises an eyebrow. "We were just watching television, Gordon. Nothing very exciting about that." Gordon can't tell whether or not the man is being genuine or if he's trying to get Gordon to be more subtle.

"Yeah. Yeah. Right." Gordon nods. Whatever sort of panic attack he's going to have, he's going to have it very, very soon. "Wanna watch some more some time? Just like the did today?"

Benrey's eyes dart between the two of them like a tennis spectator.

Tommy pauses before he speaks. "...Yes. Of course we can, Gordon." He smiles, cheeks still flushed. 

He presumes that Tommy picked up what he was putting down, seeing as Tommy is the only one with a brain among them.

Gordon nods and goes back to his room before his anxiety attack gets even worse. He locks the door, turns on the lights, and tries to do the breathing exercises he was taught to try.

It takes Gordon a while, but he almost manages to calm down before his mind comes crawling with the worst anxiety thought he could have right now?

_ What would Tommy's father think if you fucked his son? _

Gordon feels like he's about to puke.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they are fuckin!!!

His morning jog goes as it always does. He runs through the small community park near their apartment. He gives Forzen a nod of acknowledgement as they pass each other, still unsure as to why  _ they  _ were brought along to this new world. He knocks on Darnold's door to make sure he hasn't caused an explosion to their apartment complex. Gordon doesn’t actually think he would, Darnold is a responsible guy. Gordon just get nervous about all the smoke and loud noises coming from his new makeshift lab.

He can’t help but think of Tommy the entire time.

It's only been two days of carefully avoiding each other and Gordon is already tired of it. They're both grown adults. They should be able to talk about these sorts of things. 

It’s hard to admit that Tommy is probably just fine talking about this. He’s older, he’s an honest guy. Gordon is the one avoiding the topic and he has no idea why.

Gordon stares blankly at the screen on his phone and tries to come up with a good, normal way to start a conversation.

**XGordon.FreemanX:** hey tommy! you got a min? :)

**☆TOMMY:** Yes. Hello!

**☆TOMMY:** Are we texting now? You usually don't text me 

**XGordon.FreemanX:** i'm trying to change that

**XGordon.FreemanX:** we uh

**XGordon.FreemanX:** we gotta talk about what happened

**☆TOMMY:** What do you want to talk about?

**XGordon.FreemanX:** you know what i mean

**☆TOMMY:** Yeah I do... ^^'

**☆TOMMY:** I hope I didn't mess things up... If I assumed this incorrectly I'm really sorry :( It won't happen again

**XGordon.FreemanX:** you didnt

**XGordon.FreemanX:** :)

**☆TOMMY:** Oh!

**☆TOMMY:** :DDDD

Gordon lets out a sigh of relief.

**XGordon.FreemanX:** you wanna watch some forged in fire later?

☆ **TOMMY:** I think Benrey is busy streaming tonight. Bubby and Doctor Coomer might be going on a date to torment people at the aquarium. :)

☆ **TOMMY:** I'll save you a seat! ^^

**XGordon.FreemanX:** see u soon 

Gordon realizes very quickly that he didn't plan any farther than this. The worry about Tommy's father still looms in his mind, but he might be a bit too distracted to give it much thought as he jogs back to the apartment. Is Tommy gonna be on the sofa? Are they even going to have enough time to make out? What if he plays an episode that Gordon hasn't seen yet and he's too into it to flirt?

He stands outside the door and pinches the bridge of his nose. His anxiety is getting the best of him again. This isn't even a date. This isn't  _ anything _ . He just made a dumb joke and now they're going to watch tv together. That's all.

He doesn't see Tommy when he comes in. He uses the opportunity to shower and change to a t-shirt and boxers. 

He catches Tommy on the other side of the hallway as he comes out of his room. Unlike him, the older man is well-dressed, as he always is. He isn't sure if he's ever seen Tommy in a t-shirt. He's mentioned before that he likes the process of buttoning and unbuttoning his shirts. It gave Gordon a  _ lot  _ to think about when he first found it, specifically the way he imagined Tommy's large hands easily unbuttoned and revealed the bit of skin he never gets to see.

Gordon turns to face Tommy. Tommy pats his shirt, smoothing it down on instinct, and blinks.

“Um... Hey, Gordon."

Gordon gives him an awkward wave. "Hey, man."

Right. He forgot about  _ this _ part of flirting. Texting is one thing, meeting up in person and trying to say anything even remotely charming is significantly harder. 

Thankfully, Tommy saves it. "Are you ready for our, um, movi- uh, television day, Gordon?"

"Yeah! Yeah. Yes." Gordon straightens up. "Sofa again? With the blanket."

"Yes, the blanket. It is kinda... cold." Tommy smiles. If he wasn't so naturally cute he would probably look very smug right now. 

Gordon walks to the sofa, sitting at the end corner, away from the view of the door. He can hear Benrey's muffled voice speaking to his small audience when he walked by. They aren't alone. Gordon feels his heart race again. 

Tommy comes back with a can of diet pepsi. He sits on the opposite side of the sofa, glancing at Gordon.

Ah. 

They're both idiots.

Tommy clears his throat and clicks the Hulu button on the control, quietly and quickly looking for the next episode to play. Gordon watches him, not pretending to look at the screen anymore.

Gordon pulls the blanket up until their laps are covered.

The older man pats the space beside him, "You're very far away, Gordon. Want to, um- Wanna come closer?"

Gordon feels like he's being beckoned like a dog -- then again, Tommy is probably more used to showing affection to his dog. He nods and shuffles closer until his thigh is resting against Tommy's. Tommy leans back on the sofa, Gordon follows suit. Anyone who walked in right now would know exactly what was going on. They're so pressed together, ignoring the expanse of space that they could use anywhere else in the room. 

"Are we actually gonna watch any of this show?"

Tommy laughs nervously. "Um, if you'd like."

Gordon hums as he tries to think of what else to say. Another way he would  _ possibly  _ break the ice. He almost considers using the old 'yawn and put a hand over his shoulder' trick.

His thoughts are forced to a halt as Tommy's hand gently squeezes his thigh.

Tommy taps his fingers against his inner thigh, fingers dangerously close to the edge of his boxers. Gordon isn't sure if it's a stim or if Tommy is trying to give him a sign.

Gordon crosses his arms against his chest and spreads his legs ever so slightly. Tommy breathes out, moving his hand higher, stopping to feel the thick leg hair over his sensitive skin.

He rests his head on Tommy's shoulder. Tommy tenses.

"Y'know, this is a real high-school way to try to finger me." Gordon whispers.

"This was, um, my strategy in college, actually." 

Gordon squirms under Tommy's touch. "Oh my  _ god _ , don't tell me you were some sort of frat boy."

"Maybe." Tommy giggles. It's a stark contrast to the way the older man lowers his hand down the hem of Gordon's boxers. Gordon lets out a small whine, far too aware at the way Tommy is deliberately avoiding his cock. "Is this g-good?"

" _ Yes _ ." Gordon buries his face into Tommy's shoulder. "Can I touch you too?"

Tommy hums, "I want to- to focus on you first, Doctor Freeman."

"Oh..." Gordon breathes out. "That's... that's fine. Good. Go ahead."

Tommy touches him gently, as if he's exploring and understanding his body first. He learns what pressure Gordon needs on his cock in order to get him to let out a small whine. He learns that Gordon isn't very loud, but he breathes heavily and likes to hide his face against the blanket or against the crook of Tommy's neck. He learns that Gordon doesn't say please until he's very,  _ very  _ riled up, and Tommy seems to be fully committed to making that happen.

"I imagined this a lot. I, um, liked to imagine my head b-between your thighs. Writhing like ah, um..." Tommy trails off.

"Jesus christ, too distracted for metaphors?"

Tommy presses two fingers to Gordon's hole, pushing in and curling his fingers. Gordon has to bite down on his lower lip to stop himself from letting the rest of the house know what he's up to. Tommy hums and moves his fingers slowly, achingly so. "I would have used a simile, Doctor Freeman."

"Oh  _ god _ ," Gordon whispers. He bucks his hips in time with the pace of Tommy's fingers, trying to get more friction. "I can't believe you're calling me that  _ now _ . Oh fuck."

Tommy lowers his head to nibble at Gordon's ears. His teeth are sharper than he expected. His free hand wraps behind Gordon's waist, pulling Gordon closer until the man is almost sitting on his lap. Gordon grabs the blanket and clenches for dear life. "Oh, sorry. I forgot you-you don't want me to call you by your title." Tommy says. Gordon has never heard him be so smug.

"No.  _ No _ .  _ It'sgoodit'sgoodit'sgood _ . Please keep talking, Tommy. I like to hear your voice... Oh my god."

Tommy licks his lips and moves his fingers out of Gordon. He has to clench down on his jaw to make sure he doesn't whimper at the loss, feeling empty and desperate to get Tommy in him again. His eyes glance to Tommy's pants and he ends up staring, transfixed. Tommy is... a lot bigger than he expected, even from the outline of his briefs. 

"Holy shit, man." Gordon whispers. "I didn't know you'd be packing."

Tommy's cheeks have moved on from pink to just red when Gordon reaches to touch him through the fabric just to make sure he isn't dreaming. "Um.. ye-yeah. Is it alright for you?"

"Oh my god, Tommy. Why would you ask that? I'd like you no matter what you had down there but  _ shit _ , this is a nice bonus." Gordon can't handle the arousal anymore. He strokes his cock in circles as he stares at Tommy's. "There's way too many things I want to do with you right now."

"I feel the same way, Gordon." Tommy looks behind the couch to make sure they're still in the clear, causing Gordon to get momentarily paranoid as well. "W-What would you like to do?"

Gordon licks his lips, still touching himself beside Tommy. Tommy begins to follow suit, slowly stroking his cock with the wet slick from Gordon's pussy that's still on his fingers. The younger man closes his eyes. "Wanna... switch hands?"

Tommy nods and doesn't waste time going back to fingering Gordon, pulling the blanket up to their chest. Gordon follows suit and wraps his hand around Tommy's cock. He wishes he could see it, he wishes they weren't morons and weren't hiding under a blanket like desperate virgins. Tommy is so hard he fucking  _ pulses _ into Gordon's hand. Meanwhile, Tommy's long fingers find the exact spot Gordon likes, and Gordon's hips go up on the sofa as his back straightens. 

"Gonna... cum. Oh god,  _ Tommy _ ."

Gordon lets go of Tommy's cock to dig his nails to the man's thigh. Tommy turns to face him and strokes his long hair with his free hand, gently nibbling and kissing his jaw. Lips lowering to the curve of his neck. All while fingerfucking him on a couch. Gordon has had sex in much better surfaces and none of have as good as this. "Ohmygod _ ohfuckohfuck _ -"

"You look so good, Gordon. Your hair is so soft. I want- I want to have you like this again. I want to eat you out n-next time."

That's what does it. Gordon covers his mouth with his hands as he cums, clenching and thrusting into Tommy's fingers. Tommy keeps him filled the entire time, moving slowly as Gordon's orgasm subsides. Gordon isn't quite sure what made him cum, it could be the praise and it could also be the promise of doing this again. Gordon pants and slumps next to Tommy.

He turns his head to look up at him, staring into Tommy's gentle, dark eyes. He leans in to kiss Tommy. Tommy takes a moment to adjust to it, but relaxes after he starts stroking Gordon's hair again. 

"You're still... You're still rock hard, Tommy."

Tommy nods hazily. "Yeah. Don't- Don't you worry. I can take care of it."

"The hell you are. I wanna suck you off."

Tommy mumbles  _ oh dear _ under his breath, but only spreads his thighs as he watches Gordon put his now ruined boxers back on. Gordon sits up and takes the hair band on his wrist to pull his hair back into its usual ponytail. He's done this so many times with every other blowjob he's given, but doing it to Tommy like this -- hidden under the blanket in the dark, only illuminated by the TV screen they've been ignoring for this entire time -- is a thrill he hasn't felt in  _ years. _

Gordon lowers himself so he's kneeling on the floor, happily stroking Tommy's cock between his legs. Tommy raises the blanket to look at Gordon beneath it. 

He can barely see Tommy in the dark, but his arousal is palpable when he notices Tommy's eyes glowing. They glow brighter as Gordon wraps his lips around Tommy's cock, teasing him and not going much farther than the head. 

Tommy doesn't hesitate as he grabs Gordon's hair and gently pushes his cock down farther down his throat. Gordon didn't expect Tommy to be the sort to manhandle, but  _ fuck  _ he likes it. Tommy feels hot and heavy, and he's using Gordon's throat like a toy when he takes Gordon by the ponytail and  _ pulls. _

Gordon breathes through his nose, trying not to laugh with a dick in his mouth when Tommy realizes how rough he's being and lets out the sweetest  _ oh, sorry!  _ Gordon bobs his head and strokes the rest of Tommy's cock with his hands, feeling him tense up when he looks inside the blanket again. His glowing eyes shine down on Gordon and let him see just how much the younger man enjoys taking his cock. Gordon likes to make eye contact, like to get guys flustered at the sight of him. Tommy bites his lip and taps Gordon's temple, letting him know that he's going to cum.

Gordon would usually pull away at this point. This time, he takes Tommy further and continues his page, throat open and waiting.

"Oh fuck. Oh,  _ Gordon-" _

Tommy cums with a purr, gently vibrating in a way that's very much not human and very,  _ very  _ hot. Gordon chokes on Tommy's cum for a second before he swallows it down, still suckling and cleaning Tommy's cock for every last drop.

"Next time, I want you t-to keep your hair down." Tommy pants. "Please."

Gordon almost melts beneath him.

Bubby and Doctor Coomer always have impeccable timing when it comes to ruining nice moments. Tommy jumps and covers himself with a blanket again. Gordon pulls his mouth away from Tommy. It... might be too late for him to crawl back up.

Tommy rapidly taps his shoulder from over the blanket at the same pace as he shakes his leg. Gordon winces and quietly tucks Tommy's cock back inside his pants.

"Hello, Tommy!" Doctor Coomer says cheerfully.

Tommy clears his throat. "H-Hey. How was t-the aquarium?"

Gordon takes Tommy's hand and pulls it into the blanket, resting it over his hair. Tommy relaxes as he strokes Gordon's hair much like one would caress a dog. He probably doesn't know how else to. It gives Gordon  _ way  _ too many ideas that he shouldn't be thinking about.

"It was fine. Not enough slugs! And the employees seemed unphased by whatever the hell I said. Why the fuck did we go to an aquarium? They're kinda boring." Bubby rambles. Gordon hears the coat rack move and shows being put beside the door. 

**"Nature is beautiful, Bubby! Next time we can even go to the park, look at the birds."**

"Next you're going to say we should play chess at the park like every other old person." Bubby hisses.

Doctor Coomer hums, walking to the hallway. " **Chess is quite a homoerotic activity** ."

Bubby stammers, following him to their room. "I-Is that why you're suggesting it?!"

Doctor Coomer laughs, " **Perhaps** !" 

The footsteps and bickering grow farther and farther. Gordon peeks out from underneath the blanket, looking up at Tommy. "Are we in the clear?"

" **\--Oh! Why, Tommy** !"

Gordon jumps and hides, accidentally hitting Tommy's jaw with his forehead. Tommy grabs his lower mouth and grits his teeth. "Y-Yes, Doctor Coomer?"

**"Your Hulu screen is still asking if you are awake! If you're not going to continue watching your show, please make sure to turn off the television when it's not in use."**

Gordon bites his lip and tries not to laugh. Tommy grabs the remote and his play again. "O-Oh, sorry! I got distracted... looking at-at-at my phone."

**"Good night, Tommy!"** Cooper says, slamming their bedroom door immediately after.

Gordon lets out a laugh, still under the blanket. "Okay, can I come out now? This thing is super thick and I'm getting sweaty."

Tommy pushes the blanket aside and perks up as Gordon sits on his lap. He feels smug. "So... hair down next time?"

The older man nods quickly. "Yes. Y-Yes. If you want a next time, of course."

Gordon hums. "'Course I'd like a next time, Tommy."

"Good. Great! I w-wasn't sure but that's great to hear." Tommy runs his hand up and down Gordon's back soothingly. "Oh, no. It's really past my usual bedtime. I should go to bed."

Gordon perks up this time. He smiles and waits for Tommy to offer him some space in his bed. That's what usually happens after this sort of thing, right? 

Except Tommy just calmly picks him up, stands up, and places him back on the sofa as if Gordon didn't weigh anything at all.  Definitely not human.

"I'm very t-tired. I'm going to bed. Is there anything else I can do for you, Gordon?"

Gordon blinks up at him, confused.

Maybe this is just a sofa thing? Maybe Tommy just wants casual sex? Hell, maybe Tommy just doesn't like to have other people in his room. It's fair, but Gordon can't help but feel rejected.

"No. I'm good, Tommy. Thanks." Gordon says quietly. "Good night, man."

Tommy smiles and nods. "Good night to you too, Gordon Freeman."

Tommy leaves and heads to his room. Gordon sits on the middle of the sofa alone, his head buzzing as he watches episode sixteen of season three of this stupid blacksmith show.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yay new chapter! im blown away with how much attention this got, thank you everyone!

Gordon is self-aware enough to know that this is probably the worst way he could go about this. He should just communicate like an adult and not seek validation and care from Tommy via sex. He keeps doing this. Keeps inviting Tommy to the sofa. Sometimes, Tommy invites him. They always end up tangled under the blanket. Gordon can't bear a night without it.

They need to talk. Gordon has to clear his worries but he can't speak like this. Not when Tommy is completely inside him, patiently waiting for Gordon to move.

"Are you alright?" Tommy asks softly.

Gordon nods and closes his eyes before looking between them. He can't make eye-contact. He'll break if he does. "Yeah. I'm good. Just... been a while and you're...  _ fuck _ . Big."

Tommy soothes Gordon by running his hands up and down his back. He presses a kiss to Gordon's chest. "Can y-you move for me?"

Gordon moves his hips for a moment, getting used to the feeling of having nothing but Tommy surrounding him. It's been a while since he rode someone, turns out his morning jogs have been useful for nothing other than keeping him semi-sane. He braces his hands on Tommy's shoulders as he bounces on his lap, lips parting as he tries to keep himself from making any other sound than his heavy breathing. Tommy moves his hands down to Gordon's hips. Gordon breathes harder at the touch -- he's not even moving Gordon, just holding him steady, tightening his grips as Gordon moves faster.

He's slightly disappointed that Tommy decided to use a condom. He whines, imagining what he must feel like to have him bareback. He understands that Tommy wants to be safe, Gordon respects that, but  _ god  _ he wants to feel Tommy cum inside him. 

" _ Oh _ , Gordon." Tommy throws his head back for a moment, bucking his hips up as Gordon moves. He looks behind them, making sure they haven't alerted anyone. 

"Relax, baby." Gordon says, then widens his eyes. "I- fuck-"

He accidentally makes eye-contact with the older man. Tommy's face is even more flushed than usual. 

Gordon stops, whimpering as he tries to stop himself from moving again. It's just too tempting. "Sorry, uh. Did I- Uh.."

Tommy's eyes are half-lidded as he looks up and down Gordon's body, eyes locked on the view of the younger man's twitching hips, desperately moving ever so slightly to try to get more friction. Tommy huffs and grabs him by the hips, lifting him up ever so slightly. "C-Can I- Can I-" He breathes out to try to collect his words, seeming overwhelmed.

Was it the pet name?

"Could y-you lie down on your back for me?" Tommy asks. Gordon nods, lost in a dask. He winces as he moves off Tommy's cock so they can rearrange. Tommy takes off the first few buttons off his shirt, a sight that Gordon has never seen before. His breath hitches, so distracted by the sight before him that he doesn't notice Tommy sliding back into him. "Good?"

Gordon pants, "Yeah. Yes. Tommy, keep going." 

Tommy fucks Gordon into the sofa, alternating between holding Gordon by his hips or by his shoulders. Gordon can see him looking at the hallway, expecting someone to come out. What would they do if someone did? Would Tommy stop? Would Gordon be able to even speak or care? Gordon wraps his legs around Tommy's thighs and pulls him closer. Tommy covers them with the blanket and lays on top of Gordon, as close as they could possibly be. Gordon breathes against his neck, whispering his name as quiet as he can as he gets closer. 

Tommy doesn't usually make a lot of noises, but Gordon swears he hears him whimper. 

Gordon licks his lips. He closes his eyes and tries it again. "That feels so good, baby."

Tommy's breath hitches. Gordon loves this sound. He loves the feeling of a man grunting and hissing at his ear, the shortness of breath as they tense around him. "G-Gordon-"

Tommy cums with a sharp breath. Gordon follows shortly after, panting beneath Tommy.

He laughs and taps Tommy's head. "You alright there, man?"

Tommy nods against his neck and slowly lifts himself up. "Yes. I'm... I'm good, G-Gordon." He's still breathing a bit quickly for Gordon's comfort. Gordon does the first thing he can think of and strokes Tommy's hair. 

"Hey? Tommy, look at me. Was it the pet name? I can stop using it-"

"I-I-I like it." Tommy clears his throat. "Very much so. Um, you c-can use it."

Gordon smiles at him. 

Tommy returns it, looking shy once more as he takes off the condom and throws it in the trash can beside them. "I-I-" Tommy quickly fiddles at the shirt buttons, desperately trying to fix them again. Gordon doesn't think he's  _ ever  _ seen Tommy with his shirt unbuttoned for this long. 

Gordon figures he should fix himself up too. He pulls up his sweatpants and tries to lighten the mood. "You alright?"

"Yes. Just... o-overwhelmed."

"Anything I can do?" 

Tommy shakes his head, humming as he thinks. "Sorry. I th-think I need a break. From this, Gordon. J-Just to clear my thoughts. I need to-"

"Take all the time you need, man! I'm sorry." Gordon moves closer, worried that he fucked up.

"It's... um..." Tommy falls silent.

He reaches out his hand, "Can I touch you?"

Tommy shakes his head. Gordon pulls away. He doesn't feel hurt this time, but the worry is making him so anxious his stomach hurts. 

They sit in silence in different states of undress and debauchery. Gordon suddenly feels sweaty and sticky. Tommy is humming an old jazz song he doesn't recognize. 

"...Do you need any help getting to your bedroom?"

Tommy shakes his head and forcefully scratches his hair, holding his head in his hands. He shakes his head again and gets up. 

He walks to his room so quickly that Gordon can barely let out the words  _ good night _ as Tommy shuts the door behind him.

There's no haziness this time, just worry. Sheer anxiety pooling at his gut that makes him want to vomit. Gordon grits his teeth. 

He really, really hopes he didn't mess this up. And  _ god _ , he hopes Tommy is okay.

He'll be okay. Gordon sighs. Tommy can handle himself, Gordon’s just being an idiot.

He goes to sleep thinking of Tommy's arms around him. 

\---

"You've been letting your hair down a lot lately."

Gordon tucks his hair behind his hair instinctively. He looks away from his arroz con pollo to look at Benrey.

"Yeah, and?"

Benrey shrugs. They're sitting on the counter, eating from a bag of chips. They are clearly waiting for Gordon to finish cooking and nab some of his dinner. Gordon got his large pot out for a reason. 

"I don't know, it's a different look. You've been kinda weird lately."

Gordon clicks his tongue, already getting annoyed. "Oh, how so?"

"New hair don't care babyyyyyy." Benrey chuckles. "That, and you've kept avoiding Tommy for the past few days."

Gordon pauses. He doesn't want to reveal anything, certainly not to  _ them _ of all people. "Okay." He says, neutral.

"Did you two become like... a thing? I guess not actually a thing 'cause you're avoiding him. Oof, roommate drama."

"It's not drama, it's just--!" He sighs. "Is it that obvious?"

"Nah, I just know shit. And I heard you guys fucking while I was getting some of my almond yogurt from the fridge the other night." Benrey speaks with their mouth full of chips. "What's Tommy's dick look like?"

Gordon sets the timer for twenty minutes and sets the lid on the pot. "I am  _ not  _ going to fucking answer that. Stay out of my shit, man. It's none of your business."

"Bet he's like, huge. Got that skinny tall guy dick. Big ol' fucking hog." 

"Benrey,  _ please _ stop. I'm not in the mood." Gordon says. He feels pathetic, and he doubts that it'll actually make Benrey stop, but he really can't deal with this right now. 

Benrey looks down, silent for once. They chew on their chips slowly and don't even comment as Gordon rubs his temples to calm an incoming headache.

"...Y'know, he's been all mopey and gay about you too." 

Gordon looks at Benrey. 

They continue, "Yeah. This house stinks of yearning. Cringy. Gay as hell too. He was asking me the other day being like  _ oh benrey, master of relationships, what shall I do? I messed up and now he's ignoring me! _ I think you got a, uh, classic case of miscommunication. You should talk to him about it. Tommy being sad is like... seeing a kicked puppy. I'm, like, a monster but I'd never kick a puppy, y'know?"

He blinks, confused as to why Benrey is being somewhat helpful.

"Oh. Thanks. Maybe I should talk to him."

Benrey nods. "Dude, you should go talk to him."

"Yeah, I should talk-" Gordon pauses. "I'm not falling for this."

Benrey gives him a hollow grin.

\---

"Oh. You-You still have your hair down."

Gordon has to stop himself from smiling.  _ Still?  _ Has Tommy been keeping track of it? "Yeah. I still do. You... Uh, said you like it."

Tommy leans against his bedroom door. "I do."

Gordon looks down at his feet. "We gotta talk. Again. Can I come in?"

The older man raises his eyebrows in a panic, and shakes his head. "Um... N-No. Sorry. I don't like it when people go into my room." 

Oh god. That explains it. Gordon still can't help but let out a worried expression as he looks up at Tommy. Tommy looks even more panicked.

"I-I-I'm not hiding anything in there! I swear! It's just t-that I.. um. It's my space and I keep it very o-organized and I don't like it when other people make it... bad. I'm sorry, Gordon."

Well, now Gordon just feels like an asshole. 

"Tommy. Tommy, it's okay." Gordon raises his hands. "We can talk outside. We can go to the sofa or something. I was being dumb and thought you just didn't... want me in general."

Tommy pets Sunkist and tells him to stay. Gordon catches a glimpse of the large dog settling himself on Tommy's mattress before Tommy closes the door behind him.

His hand lingers over Gordon, clenching and unclenching as he clearly wonders what to do. It settles on his shoulder, squeezing gently. Gordon relaxes immediately. He didn't realize how much he needed Tommy to touch him again. 

"Of course I want you, G-Gordon." Tommy says softly. "You-You protected me in Black Mesa. I-It's... It's my turn to protect you."

Gordon clenches his jaw to avoid breaking. "Oh. That's... yeah. Um-"

Tommy gestures at the sofa. Gordon follows without a second thought.

Benrey has the decency to go back to his room when Gordon leans against Tommy. Tommy hums and strokes his hair.

"...Can I ask about last time?" Gordon says, not looking up at Tommy.

Tommy's hand freezes for a moment. "We c-can talk about it some other time. Just- Just trust me when I say that you d-didn't do anything wrong. I... um.. " The older man trails off. "Just discovered something I d-didn't expect from myself... but it's alright."

Gordon squeezes his knee. 

"Should I... not do any pet names for a bit?"

Tommy nods. "That's p-probably a good idea." The older man rests his head over Gordon's, accentuating their height difference. Gordon likes it. He likes it a lot. He goes to pull the blanket over them but is stopped by Tommy.

"N-Not tonight, I don't think."

Gordon lets out a nervous laugh. "No, I was just- I thought you were cold or, uh, this isn't... it wasn't a sex thing."

Tommy raises an eyebrow. "I thought the b-blanket signified sex."

"No! It's just a comfy blanket! T-To have sex under!" Gordon says a bit louder than he'd like to. "It isn't like a sex symbol or anything!"

Tommy laughs. "Oh d-dear... there have been many misunderstandings between us recently." 

Gordon covers his face with his hands. He's  _ so  _ glad his skin is tan enough to hide how hot his face feels. They're idiots. Well, Gordon is an idiot.

Tommy's laugh is the sweetest thing in the world. "Gordon, it's alright! I'm glad we c-could clear this up. Come on, look at m-me!"

Gordon lowers his hands and sees Tommy, face soft and kind, staring back just as fondly.

"Can I kiss you?"

Tommy replies by kissing him first. Gordon holds his face between his hands and smiles against him. It isn't the first time they've kissed, but this one feels different. Celebratory. Tommy toys with Gordon's hair and pulls him for a deeper kiss. Gordon lets out a small sound and hopes no one else hears it.

"I heard that." Benrey says, deadpan.

"Oh my fucking god,  _ finally _ . Can we please use the couch now?"

They break off and simultaneously glare at Bubby. "Seriously?" Gordon asks.

"The television is communal! I want to watch my morning talk shows, bitch!"

" **You are hogging the sofa all the time. I would enjoy using it and sharing some time with Bubby."**

Benrey walks in holding a ferret. Gordon doesn't even care at this point. "Bet it's covered in cummies from these two. That thing needs a power wash."

Tommy's face is beet red when he yells. "Alright! E-E-Enough! We can take this t-to Gordon's room but no... no more comments on our s-sex life, please!"

They all nod, unused to seeing Tommy speak up like this. 

"-And we are still using th-this sofa to cuddle. Also, I am taking the blanket." Tommy grabs the blanket in one arm and Gordon on the other, once again holding him like he weighs nothing. "I-is that c-clear?"

Bubby huffs, "Sheesh. Calm down. Now shoo, Kimmel is almost on."

**"Oh! His monologues are quite amusing!"**

Benrey makes a face, clearly not interested in the show. He sits down to watch it with them anyway.

Gordon shimmies out of Tommy's grasp and whistles. 

"...So, uh... my room?"

Tommy blinks. "Um..."

"I'm gonna be real with you, Tommy. It's a fucking mess in there."

The older man feigns a sigh. "I don't mind seeing a mess in any room th-that isn't mine."

Gordon wipes his brow as if he were wiping off sweat. "Phew, so I don't have to hide the eight water bottles on my desk."

Tommy grabs a trash bag from the kitchen and follows.

\---

Gordon presses a kiss to Tommy's chest and settles back comfortably on top of him. Tommy likes the weight on his chest, and it's a nice way to cuddle. Gordon hasn't been held like this in so long. Tommy runs his fingers through Gordon's hair, staring at the ceiling. Gordon has no idea why they insisted on only fucking on the sofa. Gordon's bed is so much more spacious, they don't have to be paranoid about someone walking in on them, and they could both be as loud as they wanted. The walls weren't sound proof, but neither of them could care less.

It's also a lot more organized, thanks to Tommy's help. Having Tommy basically order him around while scolding him for making such a mess was kinda hot. Maybe he'll tell Tommy some other time.

Gordon chuckles, "You were pretty enthusiastic."

Tommy grabs his thigh and squeezes. "I like th-these a lot."

"Is that your kink? Having thighs wrapped around your head?"

Tommy nods with a dumb smile on his face. "I like it when someone holds me still while I eat them out."

"Jesus, we're gonna have to explore that more." Gordon moves up to meet Tommy's face. He presses a kiss against the man's lips.

"Yes, we should."

Gordon rests his chin on Tommy's chest and looks at him. "Hey. Not to fuck up the mood or anything, but uh... we still gotta talk about the petname thing."

The older man continues to look at the ceiling and sighs. "Yes, I know..."

He places a kiss on Tommy's pec. "How are your spoons feeling? Do you actually want to talk about it?"

Tommy nods. "My sp-spoons are... fine. I would prefer that we d-don't, but we should." He pauses. "You didn't do anything wrong. I-I... have, um... I have bad associations with that word."

Gordon falters. "Oh."

"I d-don't like it when people treat me like a... baby."

"Do you think I do?"

Tommy shakes his head. "No. Um, I panicked because I... I-I like it when you say it."

He lifts himself up by his arms and looks down at Tommy, hair falling beside his head. Tommy takes the hair band from his wrist and puts Gordon's hair back, gently tugging it back to a neat ponytail. Gordon lets out a small breath and smiles. Tommy treats him so gently -- he did that without a second thought. 

"Do you still want me to use it?"

Tommy nods. "Just n-not in public."

Gordon rests a kiss on his temple. "You can call me one too if you want to." 

The older man thinks for a moment. He looks so much more relaxed like this. Happier. Gordon wiggles and straddles his hips. 

"I like calling you by your name, G-Gordon."

"And I like it when you say it, babe."

Tommy laughs, "That one might be better, actually."

"Oh, hella." Gordon blurts out, then cringes at himself. He hasn't used that word in years.

Tommy doesn't seem to notice or care. He opens his mouth to say something as his phone begins to ring at the bedside table. Gordon slumps beside Tommy and curls up against him. 

Tommy looks at the screen and widens his eyes. "It's dad!" He freezes, and immediately his face falls into a grimace. "Oh no, it's dad..."

He replies before Gordon can ask what his expression is supposed to mean. 

"Hey, d-dad. Yeah." He glances at Gordon. "He's here. Okay."

Tommy places his phone on his chest and sets it on speaker. Gordon adjusts his glasses, this is definitely not what he expected.

" **_Hello, Doctor Freeman. I have been... informed that you have been making my sssson... quite happy."_ **

Gordon already wants to die. "Yeah, yes... sir?"

**_"I presume you are smart enough to... know that if you were t-t-to do anything to my little Tommy... well-"_ **

"I think I catch your drift." Gordon frowns. Is he really getting the shovel talk right now? While they're both completely naked?

**_"I would like to speak to you further... seeing as the only time we had a conversation... we had a debate on the nature of restaurants."_ **

Tommy shoots him a raised eyebrow. Gordon waves a hand, begging for him not to ask.

**_"I think... dinner? The two of you and me? Somewhere... p-pet friendly."_ **

The older man perks up. "Oh, that would be lovely."

Gordon forced out a smile, trying not to seem worried.

**_"Fabulous. I'll see you tomorrow night. Is that alright, Doctor Freeman?"_ **

"Fine and dandy, G-man!" Tommy giggles beside him.

" **_Have a good day, Tommy. I love you._ ** _ " _

"Love you too, dad."

Gordon holds his head in his hands. "Fine and dandy?..."

Tommy kisses his forehead and scratches his hair, humming gently. Gordon looks up at him and realizes that he's not just Tommy anymore. That's his boyfriend. That's the guy he can't stop thinking about. Gordon could fuck anyone, but Tommy's the one he can sit beside with in silence. He wants to hear him hum, ask him what are the songs that are always stuck in his head. The feeling of safety he feels when he's beside Tommy is the only one that's come close to being held in his mother's arms. Gordon knows there's a word for all of this, but it's not one he's ready to say.

Tommy looks at him with the same tired fondness he feels and wonders if he feels the same.

A large hand rests at the side of his face. It feels like a confirmation.

"Should I start to get worried about meeting your dad?"

Tommy shakes his head. "Not until t-tomorrow. It's not too late, we still have the rest of the day. And I have a lot o-of energy right now! What would y-you like to do?"

Gordon smiles. "Anything you'd like."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dad time next chapter!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's finally here! the last chapter! i'm so happy this fic that was supposed to be a dumb PWP ended up turning into this long, sappy thing. i hope you like it as much as i liked writing it. 
> 
> comments and kudos are appreciated <3 please let me know what you think!

Gordon remembers his dreams in snippets. An unnaturally large dog runs through a field. A man in a suit stands at the corner of his college classes. A figure wearing a helmet eats at his liver like Prometheus at his rock. They eat his limbs one by one. They fret at the ropes, as if they're going to untie him but only make them tighter with each useless ministration. He stares at the shadows on the cave wall and sees the figure get closer. The only thing Gordon has ever heard is their taunting voice and they laugh and laugh and _laugh --_

"Gordon, my a-arm..."

Gordon's eyes focus on the man above him. He breathes through his nose as he resettles back into reality. He's gripping Tommy's arm. He lets go of Tommy's arm.

He takes his glasses from the side table and puts them on.

"I'm here with you. We're in y-your room. Sunkist is on the floor. We're on the bed. The sound you're hearing is m-me talking and Sunkist panting. There's a t-tapping noise because her tail hits the floor when it wags. C-Can you follow the tapping sound? Follow after me. Tap. Taptap. Tap. _Taptap..."_

Gordon mutters _tap tap_ under his breath as he follows Tommy's words. He pulls Tommy in for a hug and the man is forced to settle on top of him. Gordon likes the weight and Tommy doesn't move away.

He has no idea how long they stay curled up together until Sunkist places his paws on the edge of the bed and licks Tommy's face. Tommy giggles above him, gently pushing the massive animal away. The calming, happy sight brings Gordon back to earth. 

"Hey! How are you feeling, Gordon?" 

Gordon chuckles. "Almost completely here. Sorry. I just... uh-"

Tommy shakes his head. "It's okay, G-Gordon. You... You-You have nightmares often?"

He nods. "Most nights... but they haven't been this rough in a while. I don't know what happened." 

"Sometimes there are d-days where it gets worse for no reason. At least, n-next time it happens, I'll most likely be lying next to you. And I'm happy to help you with anything you need."

Gordon pulls Tommy closer by the back of his neck and kisses him. He pulls away and rests his forehead against Tommy's. "I'm glad something beautiful came out of the Black Mesa shitshow." He pauses. "Thank you, Tommy."

It's not the three words he wants to say, but it's close enough. 

"Of course, Gordon."

He wonders if Tommy wants to say it too. Even then, he can feel the words traced against his skin whenever Tommy touches him. He hears it in the small noises that they let out when they're lost in each other's lips. It's released from the knots in his long, curly hair that Tommy undoes when he runs his fingers through it. 

Last night, Tommy watched at least twenty videos on how to braid the thick, curly hair that Gordon has. That feels like love. Gordon offered to make Tommy some food that reminds him of his family. _Mofongo. Arroz con gandules. Tostones._ Tommy agrees to try everything that's in the list of texture he can eat. That feels like love.

Tommy lowers his kisses to Gordon's chest and smiles. "We have things we have to do, Gordon. I-t's my turn to wash the dishes and vacuum. You need to go on your morning jog."

Gordon whines. "Do I have to?"

Tommy nods and leaves the bed, no longer holding down Gordon by his weight. Gordon feels even more naked than before. Sunkist sniffs him before following his owner to the kitchen.

He stares at the ceiling and wonders how he got here. From death and destruction to morning cuddles. From losing a limb to gaining a lover. He has to look at Benrey every single day, but now he can always come back to Tommy.

\----

Gordon's initial impression of the G-Man was that he was a very odd, threatening, and evil man. Turns out Gordon was somewhat right.

The government man is odd, threatening, and only _possibly_ evil.

They meet Tommy's dad at a very retro, old looking classic American diner, jukebox and all. The G-Man looks extremely out of place in his expensive suit. His entire existence is in contrast to his son, but he sees a hint of Tommy when the G-Man kisses his son on the cheek as a greeting. He sees a glimpse of the G-Man when Tommy's expression becomes stoic and calculating as they wait to be seated. Also, they're both ridiculously tall, despite the fact Tommy is adopted. Did the G-Man seek out a super tall child to match?

Gordon sits beside Tommy at their booth, looking over the menu while also taking an occasional glance to the older man in front of him. The government man looks so out of place with the bright colors of the diner that surround them. He gently moves the menu to the side without even looking at it.

Tommy stops looking at the omelette section and chuckles. "The usual, dad?"

**"Of course. Doctor Freeman, Tommy and I prefer this diner because of the.. all day breakfast pancakes."**

Gordon smiles. "You can call me Gordon, sir."

**"I will not."**

"O-Okay!"

Tommy squeezes Gordon's shoulder. "What are you g-going to order?"

"I, uh, haven't had pancakes in a while. Might as well get some without having to worry about Bubby asking if I can make extras." He chuckles.

 **"Ah... A man of taste, I see."** G-Man nods approvingly. 

"Dad always orders the most g-godawful super sweet pancakes I've ever seen."

**"And you do not have your... partner's taste. A pity."**

Tommy rolls his eyes, still smiling. It seems that they've had this conversation before. "I-I like eating _dinner_ for dinner."

"You can have some of my pancakes for dessert, babe." Gordon says.

G-Man hums at the pet name. Tommy's cheeks grow pink.

The waiter asks what they'd like to drink. Tommy gets a cherry coke. Gordon asks for a lemonade. G-Man asks for a black coffee and a box of sugar packets, and Gordon suddenly can't focus on anything else for the rest of the dinner. The waiter comes back with their drinks and G-Man immediately begins ripping three sugar packets at a time and dumping it into his coffee. It doesn't stop. Tommy seems unphased as they talk. Gordon catches glimpses of the conversation and interacts as best he can. _Yes, the apartment is nice. Oh yeah, our roommates can be a bit of a pain sometimes, haha. No, we haven't made any plans for our future. I' m looking for teaching positions nearby and -- oh, you can get me an interview? By next week? Fuck yeah, sounds great!_

But Gordon is too busy counting each time that G-Man adds sugar to his coffee. He hasn't taken a sip of it yet. He continues to add three packets at a time. Gordon decides not to count each packet, but each motion of his hands as he rips them open. He divides the number of packets and gets 7. That's 21 packets. He hasn't stopped.

The waiter asks what they'd like to eat. Tommy gets a steak and mashed potatoes. Gordon gets a Denver scramble with a side of pancakes. The G-Man gets the _Strawberry and Choco-Chips Quad Stack Combo_. Hearing the older man say the words out loud makes Gordon feel like he's in some sort of surreal dream.

He finally takes a sip of his coffee after 16 packet openings. That's 48 packets of sugar. 

Gordon blinks and shakes his head... "H-How...?"

Somehow. The G-Man knows exactly what he's referring to. **"As I am... not human, my taste buds are different from your own. One of... the few things I can taste... and get nourishment from is... sugar."**

Tommy sighs and takes Gordon's hand as he talks, a motion so casually tender that Gordon isn't sure he deserves it. "He does not, he's being dramatic a-a-and he _always_ does it when I-I introduce him to a date."

The G-Man smiles against his cup of coffee. Gordon can't help but let out a small laugh. To think, the old man in front of him was threatening Gordon to make sure he gave his son a good time. Gordon just took it farther than either of them expected.

The dinner goes without a hitch. Gordon alternates between watching the government man eat less than half of the ridiculous pancake stack -- he might have a sweet tooth, but he has the stomach of a hummingbird -- and Tommy going through his eight can of soda while eating small bites of his steak and spoonfuls of his mashed potatoes. Gordon sets his plate aside when he's finished and rests his head against Tommy's shoulder as the father and son talk about family memories. The first time Tommy went to the G-Man's house. All his father's failed attempts at dating. The first time Tommy discovered his powers. The time Tommy drank four gallons of _Dr. Pepper_ in record speed, and the following hospital trip.

Gordon manages to share his own stories. Small anecdotes of growing up in Seattle and visiting Puerto Rico during the summers. Tommy mentions that he hasn't been to the beach in a very long time. Gordon takes a mental note for a hopeful future.

Tommy excuses himself to go to the restroom and he's left one with his father. Gordon starts to feel nervous at the silence. 

He speaks up. "So... I guess I made your son happy just like you said I should."

The G-Man nods. **"You... followed my instructions quite... efficiently."**

Gordon chuckles. "I really like him. He's... great."

**"Thomas is... a grown adult. He can date whoever he chooses, but I think you were... adequate choice."**

" _Adequate?"_

The older man chuckles back. **"I am hard to please. If you... want to impress me... you should do so with grandchildren."**

Gordon can feel all the blood leave his face just as Tommy comes back.

"Dad, did you do the g-grandchildren threat again?"

Gordon wished the G-Man would threaten him with a gun or something more old fashioned. If he wanted to be threatened with the wish of grandchildren, he could have just gone back to Mayagüez to visit his own grandparents.

Tommy rubs his shoulder and laughs so gently that Gordon is instantly soothed once more. His heart races despite the calm, all because he's holding Tommy's hand from the backseat. The government man says goodbye to his son with a hug and a kiss and gives Gordon a firm handshake.

They stare up at the apartment complex and sigh in unison

"S-So much for peace and quiet."

Gordon checks his _Twitch_ app. Benrey isn't streaming tonight. He groans and checks an unread message from Bubby he's been avoiding this entire time.

 **BUBS!:** coomer did it. wasn't me.

"I don't even want to know what that's about."

Tommy hums. "Me neither... want to lock ourselves in y-your room and ignore the mess th-they made?"

Gordon raises an eyebrow. "You're going to avoid a mess?"

"If y-you make sure I don't see it!"

"I could blindfold you." Gordon's smile falters as he realizes what he just said. Tommy's smile grows wider. A wiggle of his eyebrows. _Oh. Oh!_

The night is young, and they're still so new to each other's bodies despite the amount of times they've fucked. Gordon takes Tommy's hand and drags him to the lobby elevator, kissing him before they even press the button to their floor.

\---

Gordon stretches against Tommy's chest when he wakes up and nuzzles into his arms once more. He's going to miss the bliss of being able to enjoy the gentleness of the morning once he's employed again. He should let Tommy sleep and get some breakfast, but he doesn't want to be anywhere else but this bed. Gordon carefully slips out of Tommy's grasp and sneaks into the bathroom, taking care of his bladder and his morning breath before at least washing his face.

He wipes off the bit of dried cum that was left on his facial hair and cheek. Gordon smiles at his reflection. 

When he comes back, he finds Tommy chewing on his stim necklace. He stops once Gordon rests beside him.

"You know, you can bite me if you want." Gordon teases.

"Y-Your skin wouldn't be the r-right texture." Tommy teases back and rests a kiss to Gordon's shoulder.

"You really did a number on my last night, Tommy. Jesus." Gordon stretches again. Tommy places a hand on Gordon's inner thigh, squeezing the sore skin. He took his time eating Gordon out, holding his legs spread and leaving love bites all over his thigh. 

"I like to be thorough, G-Gordon." Tommy hums. 

"I can tell." Gordon bucks his hips up at Tommy's touch. He closes his eyes and sighs. "You know, you've never fucked me from the back."

"I...have not. N-No. Do you want to?"

Gordon throws the covers off their bodies and rests on his stomach. He hears Tommy go _oh dear_ when he gets on his knees. Gordon hasn't pulled his hair up to a ponytail yet, it drapes over his shoulders and hangs down the sides of his head. He feels Tommy shuffle behind him. Gordon feels his hard-on over his boxers and stops himself from grinding on it. He's never had this much sex, so much _good_ sex. It was always college hook-ups that stopped completely once he got a job at Black Mesa. Tommy rests his large hands on either side of Gordon's hips.

Gordon braces his hands against the bedpost and arches his back. Tommy leans down and kisses Gordon's shoulder. "Are you sure y-you're not too sore for th-this?"

"Nah, it's the good kind of pain." Gordon presses back against Tommy's cock and moves his hips up and down. "Are you just gonna kneel there and watch, old man?"

Tommy hums and moves a hand away from Gordon's waist. Gordon imagines him taking out his fat cock and licks his lips, spreading his legs a bit. "Tem-Tempting as that may be... maybe for a-another time."

He rubs the head between Gordon's lips, teasing at his hole and at his cock. Tommy's grasp is too firm for him to try and move back into it. He groans and lets Tommy tease him. Explore him. Gordon knows he's going to get fucked eventually.

Gordon groans as Tommy pushes in, clenching his cock like he missed it. Like it belongs there. He tightens his grip against the bedpost.

"Oh my god. _Fuck_." Gordon fixes his hair, trying to tempt Tommy into taking it. Pulling it. "Fuck me. Just fuck me."

Tommy breathes out a _yes_ and grabs on to Gordon's hair, pulling his head back. Gordon cries out in surprise, far louder than they should be but _god_ he doesn't care. Gordon wanted it rough and messa and somehow Tommy knew exactly what he wanted without even saying it. He digs his nails into Gordon's tan skin. Gordon moans.

Despite all the fear and horrible confusion he experienced in Black Mesa, nothing matches the sudden horror of hearing someone knock on the door while full of cock. Tommy scrambles and Gordon ends up straightening up and laying back on his stomach, Tommy's taller form resting on top of him, pinning him down. 

"Holy shit, can you two keep it down in there?!" Bubby yells from the door. Gordon snorts out a laugh, trying to stay quiet. Tommy's probably mortified.

"S-S-Sorry!" Tommy says, covering Gordon's mouth with his own to stop Gordon from making a snide comment. Damn it. 

"That bed is going to break the wall at this rate! I liked it more when you were trying to keep your relationship a secret!" Bubby barks out. Gordon hears his footsteps as they stop away. 

Tommy groans. "I-I almost had a h-heart at-at- attack."

Gordon wonders if Tommy has noticed he's still balls deep inside him. He groans against the older man's mouth. Tommy pulls it away and profusely apologizes. "Oh! I-I'm sorry, G-Gordon, I-I didn't- didn't notice I was sti-still--!"

"Put it back." Gordon tries to buck up his hips, but the man is too heavy. He turns his head and looks back over his shoulder. "Please..." 

Tommy studies Gordon's panting, sweaty face. He covers his mouth again. Gordon feels perfectly hazy and filled. He peeks out his tongue to lick at Tommy's palm. Tommy responds by sticking his fingers into Gordon's mouth. He melts.

The position works out beautifully. Tommy fucks him in hard, shallow thrusts that barely move the bed. Gordon can't speak over Tommy's hand, he just makes all the pathetic little noises he's always wanted to make when getting fucked. Only loud enough for Tommy to hear. Tommy responds by gasping his name and kissing the back of his neck. The touch sends goosebumps down Gordon's spin, a chill despite the heat emanating from their bodies. It feels like a reply in a language spoken only by lovers. _Yes_ , the kiss says. _Always, yes_.

Gordon buries his face into his pillow as he cums, trembling underneath Tommy. The older man fucks him so slowly and gently, Gordon finds that he wouldn't mind being in this position for hours. Covered by Tommy, cared for in the most intimate way. A large hand moves his hair out of the way and kisses his cheek. " _C-Close.._." He whispers.

Gordon closes his eyes and hums. "You... _oh god --_ don't have to pull out."

Tommy whimpers at Gordon's words and cums. He lets out a shuddering breath, still thrusting slowly as every last drop fills Gordon up. They stay intertwined like this for a while as they regain their breath. Tommy lets out a grunt when he pulls out. Gordon huffs and rests on his side instead, feeling the cum drip down to his thighs but he can't seem to care.

"Do-Don't worry, Gordon. There will be a day where we- we can have sex as loud as we'd l-like." Tommy runs his fingers through his hair. "It'll take a lot of p-planning the schedule but I-I-I think we should be able to."

Gordon groans. "What we _need_ is our own place. Listen, I like these guys. Really do. Well, most of them. Not Benrey. But living with them is a fucking nightmare. We just gotta get out of here, Tommy."

Tommy blinks above him. " _Our_ place, Gordon?" 

He turns to face Tommy and laughs, only slightly nervous. "Yeah... Uh, I mean. If you'd like that. I know you're very particular about your space and stuff but... we could always find someplace to stay with... two bedrooms."

"We'd- We'd need th-three, Sunkist needs his own r-room."

Gordon nods. "And a nice backyard for him to run to."

"A-And somewhere near that school you might w-work at. Near a park so you-you-you can jog."

Gordon lifts himself up until he's sitting right beside Tommy, smiling eagerly. "We can paint the living room yellow."

"And the k-kitchen."

Gordon nods. "And the kitchen."

The pair stares at each other. Tommy squeezes his stim necklace. Gordon squeezes his knee. "We should probably shower first before we... keep talking about this."

Tommy perks up. "C-Could you wash my hair again? I really l-liked it when you did it last time."

"Of course, baby."

\---

Gordon and Tommy severely underestimated how difficult it would be to buy a house. Money wasn't exactly an issue, seeing as Tommy's father can apparently simply create money and necessities as he pleases. Working with realtors, however, was exhausting. Tommy couldn't stand the house tours and all the houses Gordon really liked were a bit too far from the school. Gordon refuses to allow Tommy to teleport him, no matter how much the man insists. Gordon promises himself he's finally going to learn how to drive. 

After months of searching and packing, they finally find a three bedroom, two bathroom Tudor style house in a not too busy street near the city. There's space for a garden that Tommy insists he will start once they move in. The backyard is spacious enough for even Sunkist to run in. It's old -- Tommy and Gordon are fascinated by the small cubby holes and hidden spots they've managed to find. Tommy mentions that it's great for hide and seek. Gordon is too busy standing in the middle of the living room as he decides where he's going to put his shelf with all his _Funko Pops_. At least he has the comfort of knowing that Benrey won't be here to make fun of them.

The guys surprised them with a small going away party, complete with far too much soda and _Gatorade_ and a wonderfully shitty store-bought cake. They even got housewarming gifts. None of them were good gifts, obviously. Gordon decided to display Coomer's singing fish in the entry hallway. Tommy placed Bubby's unnecessarily large Ikea bear plushie in Sunkist's room. 

Gordon has absolutely no idea what to do with the collector's edition of _Seinfeld_ DVD's Benrey gave him. He doesn't even like _Seinfeld,_ but it's almost a semblance of a gift with some thought put into it. Gordon takes whatever he can get from Benrey.

The last few boxes are placed in a closet, somewhere Tommy doesn't have to see the clutter and immediately get concerned over the safety hazards all the cardboard boxes stacked together could bring. Instead, they focus on their respective glasses of wine. 

Tommy clinks his glass against Gordon's once more, enjoying the sound it makes. "T-To new beginnings and- and adventures."

Gordon chuckles. "To _hopefully_ never working for a huge, world-ending science organization again." 

"Hey. Th-That organization brought you to me." Tommy teases. "And we made actual advancements!"

He's right, the memory of Black Mesa remains bittersweet in his brain. It seemed like the opportunity of a lifetime when he first received his acceptance letter.

It _was_ the letter of a lifetime, just his old lifetime.

Gordon gives Tommy a kiss on the cheek. "How about we christen the house by testing out that new mattress?"

Tommy grins and jumps in place, opening his mouth to speak. The door knocks before Tommy lets out a sound. The pair turns towards the door then look at each other. 

"Are we having a housewarming party?" Tommy asks.

Gordon frowns and walks to the front door. He's greeted by Benrey, who's holding a bag of Lays and some sort of card. 

"Hiya, neighbor." Benrey says in his classic mix of deadpan and mischief. 

Gordon grabs the card and opens it. It's an invitation for...Benrey's housewarming party.

The scientist peaks his head out and looks to his left. Sure enough a _sold_ sticker is placed over the realtor's advertisement. Gordon crushes the invitation in his hands. 

"Brought you some, uhhhh, cool ranch for your new place. You can pop that sucker open in your bed to mark it as a gamer's bed, baby. Stain those sheets. Make 'em yours." Benrey snickers. "Make sure to bring snacks for my party. Bubby and Coomer want ya to bring soda for theirs."

Gordon turns his head to the right and, sure enough, he sees a shirtless Doctor Coomer spraying down his driveway with weed killer. The old man waves at him. **"Hello, Gordon! Isn't this nice? Even if we're no longer roommates, we can continue to be at an arm's reach from each other. Ha, I must just bother you for a cup of sugar later. Like white people do in the movies!"**

"Speaking of that..."

Gordon glares down at Benrey. "No."

"You guys got any soap I could borrow?"

He slams the door closed and sighs. Tommy peaks out of the living room, holding a carefully constructed Gundam model display. "Was th-that Benrey?"

"Don't worry about it. Just- Don't. I don't wanna think about it right now." 

Tommy watches as Sunkist excitedly explores their new house, sniffing every corner and already picking the corner of the living room as his favorite napping spot. Gordon rubs his eyes and rests against his boyfriend's chest. Tommy pats his shoulders. 

Gordon's eyes widen. "Fuck. I forgot the _actual_ housewarming gift I got you. Wait here."

Tommy laughs softly and toys with his necklace as Gordon runs to the closet that's jam packed with all their things. It takes longer than he'd like, but he finally pulls out the gift from one of the boxes at the bottom and heads to the living room before Tommy can see him. He drapes the gift over the couch and calls for the older man to join him.

"Ta-da!"

He wants to frame the gorgeous smile that appears in Tommy's face once he realizes what he's seeing. "Oh my, G-Gordon! It's hideous!"

Gordon flops down over the large, ugly, ridiculously warm Garfield quilt that now rests over their couch.

"A-Are we going to have to have s-sex on that too or..."

"Well, uh... We don't have to do."

Tommy shrugs. "The patch th-that says _I_ _hate Mondays_ isn't really d-d-doing anything for me." The older man sits on Gordon's lap anyway. Gordon tries not to wince at the weight on his legs. 

Gordon Freeman finds himself finally alone and at peace with the man he loves. 

Tommy kisses his forehead. "You-You know... now that I can't actually look at the bl-blanket..."

Gordon kisses him properly and tells the remote to start up Hulu, for old time's sake.

Tommy runs his fingers through Gordon's hair. It feels like love. He reads the words in the crinkle of Tommy's eyes, he hears them in his gentle breaths that come from the pure, content calm of sitting with your lover. Gordon rests a kiss to Tommy's necklace, he holds him by his waist and doesn't ever want to let go. He hopes his gestures translate back to Tommy just as they do in reverse. Maybe Tommy can read them the way Gordon does, but he hopes Tommy feels loved despite it. 

Gordon rests his head against Tommy's chest and lets out the final breath he'd been holding in this entire time. 

"I-I love you, Gordon!"

Gordon laughs and says it back. That works too.


End file.
